Saying goodbye to the pacifier.

Every child reacts differently when it’s time to say goodbye to the pacifier. For some, it's just a small bump in their routine that barely registers. For others, it’s a major adjustment that will lead to a few tough nights (or weeks) as they adjust to falling asleep in a new way. 

If you’ve been thinking about dropping the pacifier, but you’re dreading what your nights might look like afterward, let’s talk about why, when, and how you can make this transition easier for the whole family.

Why can the transition be so difficult?

Pacifiers offer more than just comfort—they play a key role in helping regulate a baby’s nervous system by satisfying their natural sucking reflex. This non-nutritive sucking can provide a sense of security, calm, and self-soothing, especially during transitions like sleep time.

For kids who rely on their pacifier to calm down, organize their body, and drift off to sleep, losing it can feel like losing a key part of their settling routine.

On the flip side, there are kids who transition relatively easily. The difference often comes down to how much the child relies on the pacifier to settle to sleep and how easy it is for them to settle in a new way. Even the best preparation might not prevent some hiccups along the way.

How to say, “bye bye paci!”

When it’s time to ditch the pacifier, there’s no shortage of strategies to choose from. 

Some parents opt for a direct, straightforward approach: 

“Pacifiers aren’t forever. They’re not good for your teeth, so it’s time to let them go.” 

Others might take a more creative approach like the Pacifier Fairy, where the fairy collects pacifiers and leaves a toy or reward in return. There’s also more ceremonial rituals, like burying the pacifiers in the backyard.

No matter which approach you choose, the social story you create around the pacifier will provide helpful context and might help ease the transition.

If your child struggles with the transition, one of the best strategies is to replace the pacifier with parental presence. 

This could look like rubbing their back, holding them until they fall asleep, or sitting in their room for a few nights until they feel secure. Then, you can gradually step back and return to your normal sleep routine once they’ve gained some confidence.

For children who are already independent sleepers, you might choose a “leave and check” approach. 

Put them to bed, step out of the room, and check in every five to ten minutes. If you’re surprised by the intensity of their reaction, you can always adjust by offering more support and working your way back to independence. 

Again, every child is unique. Some may fuss for fifteen minutes and then drift off, while others might need significantly more comfort than you expected.

When should you say goodbye?

There’s no exact right or wrong answer here, but age does play a significant role in saying goodbye to the pacifier. 

Pacifiers are incredibly helpful for infants, and if you remove them before six months of age, babies forget about them in just a few days. 

As children grow, their reliance on the pacifier tends to deepen. Between the ages of one and three, many kids become more emotionally attached to their pacifiers, making the transition trickier. 

When you’re ready to say goodbye to the pacifier, having a plan to support your child can make all the difference. 

Should you be concerned about using a pacifier?

Trust me, I know how helpful pacifiers can be. I’ve used them with my own child and with my clients, so please know there is no judgment here on your decision to keep or drop the paci.

But if you are concerned about how a pacifier might affect your child’s health, here’s the information that’s out there:

Studies have suggested that pacifier use can increase the risk of ear infections. The theory is that the sucking motion pushes mucus from the nostrils back into the ears, leading to a buildup.

Additionally, pacifiers can contribute to open-mouth breathing, which is undeniably problematic. Children should sleep with their lips sealed, their tongues resting on the roof of their mouths, and breathing through their noses.

In my own experience…

Personally, I’ve been through this transition twice with my own child.

The first time, we removed his pacifier when he was under two. It was a very stressful transition but everything settled in about three weeks. He went about nine months without it before we gave it back during my divorce. Oops! We’re all human. :) 

Later, when he was three, we took a more straightforward approach. By then, he was old enough to understand the explanation: “Pacifiers aren’t good for your teeth, so we can’t use them anymore.”  For a few nights, I held him to sleep, and then shifted back to the normal routine of putting him down and stepping out of the room. The key was replacing the pacifier with parental presence for a short time before transitioning back to independence. Too easy!

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for letting go of the pacifier. Preparation is essential, but so is flexibility. 

Your child’s age, attachment level, and personality will all play a role in how the process unfolds. Whether it’s a quick adjustment or a rocky road, the goal is the same– to help your child find new ways to calm and regulate themselves so the WHOLE FAMILY can sleep better.

If you’re having sleep struggles with the pacifier or even beyond the pacifier, my family-focused sleep consultant services might be a great fit for your family.

Book a consultation call with me, and let’s see if we can get your whole family sleeping peacefully!

To better sleep,

Ella