Worried about sleep training? A balanced approach for whole family wellness exists.

What is your gut reaction when you hear “sleep training”?

It’s a divisive topic, I know, but as a baby sleep consultant, I feel a pull to demystify sleep training and ease your mind if you’re considering it for your family.

The short version is:

Babies have sleep wants, and parents have sleep wants. Sleep training finds the balance between the two so everyone’s sleep NEEDS are met.

But it’s important to know that sleep training is a nuanced topic. So let’s get into the longer version…

(By the way, this blog post was inspired by the conversation I had with Molly from Poppy Therapy on her podcast, Blooming in Motherhood. Need to fold some laundry today? Pop in your headphones and listen to the full episode here!)

Why does sleep training feel so scary?

Early motherhood is an intense, unseen time. You’re navigating exhaustion, feeding your baby, and making countless decisions you’ve never had to make before. As a postpartum doula specializing in nighttime newborn care, I’ve developed a love for helping families alleviate some of this stress by helping them make evidence-based decisions. 

When families struggle with the concept of sleep training, it’s usually for good reason:

• We focus on our baby’s wants rather than their needs

• We’re afraid of the crying is involved

• Change feels overwhelming for the whole family

And while every parent dreams of a gentle, tear-free approach to sleep training (of course we do- we want the best for our babies), it’s not always the reality or the key to sustainable sleep routines.

As parents, we have a duty to accept nothing less than what we want for our children. Sleep training allows parents, and therefore their children, to live to the fullest. 

It’s not about saying “no” to your baby. It’s about saying “yes” to your family’s well-being.

Is sleep training going to affect the bond I have with my baby?

No. Sleep training doesn’t negatively impact the mother-baby dyad.

When we sleep train, we’re establishing routines that enable your baby or toddler to fall asleep independently and settle confidently in their crib.

A common fear around sleep training is that teaching your baby to self-settle might lead to an anxious or disorganized attachment style. But here’s the comforting truth:

A secure attachment doesn’t come from stopping every tear. It comes from being consistently warm, responsive, and emotionally available. While practices like home birth, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping have benefits, none of them are related to a baby’s secure attachment with her caregiver, nor are they predictive of a baby’s mental health and development.

Holding boundaries around nursing or bed-sharing do not harm attachment. It actually strengthens the mother-baby dyad by teaching your child that love isn’t about endless agreement. Love is showing up, holding space for their emotions, and being their safe place, even when they’re upset.

Frantically trying to avoid all crying doesn’t serve your child’s emotional competence or your family’s wellness. True, lasting comfort comes when you confidently and calmly guide them through this transition.

Sleep training: The tears are temporary. The benefits of quality rest for your baby’s health and your family’s well-being are forever.

A personalized approach to better sleep

Sleep training isn’t one-size-fits-all—because no two families are alike. Every baby has their own rhythm, their own needs, and their own story. That’s why I take the time to truly get to know you and your little one, crafting a sleep plan as unique as your journey.

Instead of slapping a band-aid on the issue, I dig into why sleep isn’t working and develop a solution-oriented plan tailored to your goals. 

Whether you want to stop nursing to sleep, transition baby to their crib, or simply reduce bedtime battles, sleep training is all about finding what works best for your family—flexible, effective, and tailored to you.

And while I don’t promise overnight miracles, I do promise this: 

You’ll feel calm, clear, and confident in helping your baby sleep. And when new challenges arise, I’ll be there to help.

Quality sleep supports the mother-baby dyad

Sleep training an assurance that you’ve taken time to reflect on the needs of your whole family and prioritized these goals.

Prioritizing rest and wellness means investing in your family’s long-term vitality.

(ICYMI, I discuss all of this in episode 23 of Molly Vasa Bertolucci’s podcast, Blooming in Motherhood. You can listen to the full episode here!)

If you’re ready to create sustainable sleep routines that will have the whole family well rested, whatever stage your child is in, let’s book a consultation call! I’d love to support you in any way I can.

To better sleep, 

Ella